


what do i do when i'm falling for you?

by ChuganiiMogi



Category: BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: Altered past, Bullying, Different past, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Jealousy, Longing, Love Poem, Parental Neglect(implied), Pining, Yukina-centric, au-ish, heavily inspired by music
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-26
Updated: 2019-07-26
Packaged: 2020-07-20 03:36:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19985449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChuganiiMogi/pseuds/ChuganiiMogi
Summary: Yukina longed for Lisa, even before she herself noticed.Heavily inspired by Porcelain Face by 4DoorTheatre.





	what do i do when i'm falling for you?

**Author's Note:**

> The title comes from Porcelain Face, the inspiration, meaning some stuff is going to be different, please enjoy either way. I honestly apologize for any typos, I haven't edited it yet, I'll make sure to eventually.

Yukina smiled, holding her mother’s hand and gripping her backpack strap as they arrived at her school. There was a bright twinkle in her eyes as her mother left her in her classroom and confidently strode inside when the teacher called everybody into the circle. This school year was sure to be something to look up to.

* * *

Yukina frowned when nobody paid any attention to her and couldn’t find anybody to talk to.

She’d have to try harder. She quickly wiped the frown off her face and smiled brightly.

* * *

She was too eccentric for everyone. Others tended to laugh whenever she walked into class with her big silly smile.

They often made fun of her for always having the biggest smile and rarely frowning. They always tried to make her frown and get angry whenever she wanted to be friends with them.

One day, Yukina had enough of pretending to be happy when they made fun of her and crying in private. She came to school with a black hat and big sunglasses so she didn’t have to look at her and insult how her face looked - maybe they’d even think she was cool. She tried to smile big like before. She settled on smiling smaller than usual.

When her mom dropped her off, the kids stared at her and quietly started laughing at her. One girl with pretty blue eyes came up to her and Yukina smiled at her, though tensed up. The girl took her sunglasses and laughed as she grabbed a black marker and drew eyelashes on Yukina. Yukina let her.

Her hat was stolen off of her head and she looked behind her at who stole it. A boy with messy black hair stared back at her and grinned, grabbing the black marker from the girl who protested, then proceeded to draw on her hair, making black streaks on her scalp.

“I’m making you prettier.”

Yukina stayed quiet, letting him draw in her hair.

The boy yelled as he was pushed down and Yukina’s eyes went wide when a girl with black hair tackled him.

“STOP DOING THAT, STUPID!” Her shrill voice screamed and smacking sounds filled the room. Yukina could only stand there in shock and watch as the short girl smacked him with her delicate looking hands.

The teacher walked in right then, calling out the hallway for help and started to pry the girl off of the boy. Yukina’s vision started turning blurry and could only blankly stare at the red-faced girl with beautiful, fiery hazel eyes glaring at the boy whose terrified face looked battered while other adults rushed in urgently.

* * *

“Hi, I’m Lisa,” The girl smiled, looking down at Yukina, who sat surprised on the infirmary bed.

Yukina looked up, hesitating as her eyes darted about, “I-I’m Yukina,” She mumbled, not able to make eye contact.

Yukina thought she - Lisa, had a delicate name. Suiting for such a pretty girl. Lisa pouted, “You should smile like when those stupid meanies were being mean to you. They don’t deserve your nice smile.”

Yukina couldn’t help it, a small grin made its way onto her face and Lisa’s eyes shined and she smiled widely, “Like that! But bigger, like this!”

Lisa used her fingers to make herself smile widely which made Yukina smile wider, giggling, which in turn made Lisa exclaim, “Yeah! You’re a smarty pants, you can listen well!”

“Can we be friends?” Yukina smiled, looking the girl in the eyes finally. Lisa’s eyes widened and she squealed.

“Yes please!”

A fire gave off warmth in her heart.

* * *

Lisa dyed her hair today. Yukina liked how the light brown matched her kind eyes. But she knew Lisa only dyed it to look less like her mom who’d rather spend her days with different men over actually caring for her own daughter.

Yukina finally smiled at Lisa for once after years. She’d respect Lisa’s decision of giving up on bass to focus on other things. She needed to know just how much Yukina respected her.

* * *

Lisa’s nails started to chip from practice, Yukina felt some apologeticness for it, but Lisa didn’t need long nails to look beautiful. She wasn’t as delicate as her name suggested.

Yukina woke up to knocks on her balcony at night. She opened it to a weeping Lisa that stumbled into her arms. Yukina made sure to note that Lisa’s mom was the cause of this situation. Yet another unforgivable thing Yukina would silently dislike Lisa’s mom for.

Lisa stayed over for the night. Yukina had no objections. Lisa rarely allowed herself to crack and break, Yukina would make sure to be the best she could be in those moments.

* * *

Yukina started to notice the dull ache in her chest after seeing how much Lisa’s coddled up to Sayo. She’d make sure to investigate on it soon.

But Roselia came first for the time being.

“How are you and Sayo?” Yukina indifferently said while eating lunch with Lisa during lunch time in the middle of one of Lisa’s story about something Sayo accomplished during the baking event at Hazawa-san’s café.

“Huh?” Lisa inquired, confusion obviously in her tone from the sudden question. Yukina didn’t repeat what she said, opting to say silent as gears turned in Lisa’s head. After moments of silence, Lisa carefully replied, “We’re fine, we both just have a little more in common, I guess.”

“Like what?” Yukina asked, staring down at her food and making sure not to look up at Lisa’s face who she was sure was staring at her intently.

“She can bake now and- uhh,” Lisa trailed, stumbling on her words, “We’re in the same band?”

Yukina stayed quiet, knowing Lisa was going to say a different thing that was positively not being in the same band. She decided not to push anymore than that. Maybe because of how her heart felt like it hurt and then sunk down into her stomach.

Maybe because of the possibility that Lisa had somebody more important to her than Yukina. The two resumed lunch, albeit more awkwardly than earlier.

* * *

Yukina didn’t expect it at all. She found out Sayo got together - romantically - with Hazawa-san. Then she found herself in the predicament of thinking of the what-ifs with Lisa. No matter how much she tried to push the thoughts away, she found herself itching to touch Lisa and to talk to her every chance she managed to get.

The thoughts put a burden on her when she started to find herself only thinking about Lisa and talking about Lisa sometimes, and even writing about Lisa.

She had to keep her impurity a secret from Lisa. She was sure it’d just break Lisa and cut Yukina herself down all over again.

* * *

Yukina couldn’t help herself. She wrote a poem inadvertently expressing her thoughts and feelings about Lisa in a subtle way. Describing her childhood friend’s personality and what Yukina loved about her, yet not specifically addressing her. She couldn’t find it in herself to trash the heartfelt poem.

She hid the page under her pillow and read it before going to bed at night, revising and editing before sleeping - every once in a while having to write it all over again just from how incomprehensible the words became from the editing. It’s like her poem would be ever-changing. Lisa was beyond explainable. Yukina was fine with that.

* * *

The two were having a sleepover at Yukina’s. She assumed it had something to do with Lisa’s mom just from how suddenly Lisa suggested the sleepover. Her parents were away for the weekend anyways. It was probably the best time for a sleepover.

Lisa started to act weird when Yukina finished changing into her nightwear, she was quieter during the night.

The two conversed quietly about the band until Lisa asked a startling question.

“Hey, Yukina?” Lisa asked hesitantly. Yukina made a sound of attention and Lisa went on, “D-do you like someone?”

Yukina willed the blush quickly creeping its way up her neck away, “What?”

Her eyebrows furrowed as she stared at Lisa who was in front of her.

“I-I read that poem under your pillow?”

Yukina’s heart stopped as her mind went blank and she berated herself for forgetting about the poem under her pillow. She reached down under her pillow and grabbed the page tightly before getting up and ripping it, throwing it into her bin as Lisa made sounds of surprise. Her throat felt tight and tears nearly pricked her eyes as she stared silently at the torn pages of paper in her bin before quietly saying something and wiping the tears in her eyes away.

“It was a fantasy of mine, nothing to worry about,” Yukina blankly said, looking up at Lisa with cold eyes, ashamed at how stupid she was, how inconsiderate and needy she was.

“Yukina!” Lisa glared, tears in her beautiful hazel brown eyes, “I’m your best friend, you had no reason to-!”

“It is not okay if the person you’ve adored, the person you- dare I say it - love just read it.” Yukina quickly said, only able to keep her frustration - and the want to yell - in control because of years of keeping her emotions pent up inside, “Not to mention when they so obviously see you as their friend.”

Yukina knew she just messed up.

Lisa’s eyes went wide at Yukina’s outburst, and her tears started to flow down freely. Yukina felt even more hate towards herself for making the girl of her dreams cry.

“Y-You’re stupid,” Lisa cried, rubbing and wiping at her eyes. Yukina was stumped, feeling even worse about herself at Lisa’s words and stood there rigidly as Lisa repeated the words over and over.

“Yukina, you meanie,” Lisa sniffled as she started to calm down.

“I’m sorry,” Yukina apologized with her head down, frowning as tears pricked even more at her eyes. She didn’t dare look up. Rustling was heard and then warm arms engulfed her.

“Can you say it again?” Lisa asked breathily into Yukina’s ear. Yukina gulped, making a sound of confusion, “Say you love me.”

Yukina felt weak. She couldn’t really think.

“I-I love you?”

“I love you too, okay?”

0/////0

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed. Would greatly appreciate feedback and kudos, thanks!
> 
> EDIT: 
> 
> It reminds me, if you'd like to read what I personally interpret most scenes as, this is the copy with the lyrics incorporated in to show what lyrics inspired which, or just fit with the song lyrics.
> 
> [Here](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1HaiMbRWVzA5SCrhNqYjIbI8F4Tj7GMzvg6KL6qQsVO0)
> 
> (Not sure if the link'll work, first time inserting a link into this. If it doesn't work, just copy + paste, it should send you to the doc.)


End file.
